TURKEY

An Armenian Heartache

“I was 13 years old. They killed my brothers, my mother and my father before my eyes. They did not only kill my family, they killed the families of other girls too. They did not touch the girls. The village embraced us. Then they married us all off to other people, without love. We remained quiet to survive.”
Bahar FEYZAN
An Armenian Heartache

I heard these sentences from an old lady of Armenian heritage who died five years ago. Her own brothers and her entire family had been killed before her eyes. While it is a feeling I will never be able to understand, I am certain that it was a horrendous feeling.

I have not given the name of the “old woman” due to family reasons. I am sharing what I heard with my own ears.

The “old woman” told me that her first love was amongst another family that had been massacred. He had also been killed. She said “I wish I had died first, rather than witness so much death.” She was right. Can a person escape the interconnected pain in such a situation and be thankful that they have lived? I really do not know. However, I listened to what she had to say as if I had a wish to be a voluntary witness. Knowing that pain subsides the more we get to know it. Remembering at least how important listening is. The debate of whether there was or wasn’t a genocide regarding the Armenian issue has gone on for days, for years. If you ask me, for the “old woman”, the words are pointless…

Moreover, no ground will be made with the approach of “you also attacked us”.

In 1914, a family luckier than the “old woman” moved to Los Angeles. Their granddaughter Kim Kardashian evaluated the 1915 incidents in Time Magazine. 

She stated: “It is time for Turkey to accept the genocide. This is not the fault of the people who are currently living there, it happened 100 years ago. I believe that if the Turks accept this situation, everyone will be able to move on with their lives. It is disrespectful not to confront the past”.

Ankara may not have taken Kardashian’s statement seriously, however they were not lightly made statements. They were a part of a reality that completely changes the roots. As you can see, there isn’t really any part of the situation to be taken lightly. However, the statements made have not yielded any response.

I think that acceptance is the second stage; we do not even debate the issue in detail at the moment. In other words, we have not even moved up a stage or moved towards the next stage.

We scolded everyone in Europe who made a statement. The entire world is making statement regarding this issue and we insist on closing our eyes and ears and choosing to read everything from another source. We succumb to our pride; we create balloons from the tales of our ancestors which we then greatly inflate. The explanations from abroad pop those balloons one by one but we re-inflate them.

There are people who lost their lives and were massacred in the incidents of 1915, there are those who had to leave this land. If you were to go to the village of Vakıflı in Antakya, you would be able to listen to the stories of people who were forcibly removed from their homes and possessions during that time. They tell of their long cold winter nights waiting at Musa Mountain for a French ship to arrive. Then there is the case of Uncle Avadis who was unable to go through and returned to the village of Vakıflı after a long and troublesome process. He is no longer alive. I do not know if he was also guilty of his blue eyes. I am one of the lucky ones who listened to the events from his mouth. Furthermore, when he was forced into military service he was not even given a weapon, only a pick and shovel. Not only to him of course, to all “non-Muslim” soldiers. They were all openly dismissed.

Was there an Armenian genocide, should it be called agenocide? Turkey does not have the answers to these questions because, starting from Ankara, many people are in support of covering up the issue. A non-policy of not recognizing the issue and being upset by the issue being discussed has been created.

Additionally, I think that the shame that has become ingrained in our genes follow the collapse of the Ottoman Empire prevents the discussion of this issue.

Whichever you look at it, people died here. The “old woman’s” heartache never passed. Our ancestors also committed acts that were not particularly good. And the whole world is trying to tell us something.

Is there anyone out there with heartache?

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